Surviving Divorce For Kids

Divorce severely affects children and can sometimes cause a drastic change in their behavior. It is commonly seen that these children experience regression and display aggression towards other children if their parents are undergoing divorce or separation. For example, children whose parents are divorced often quarrel for small things and they prefer to live in isolation.

For kids, surviving divorce can be a daunting task as a divorce is also a stressful situation for children. They start feeling guilty and sad due to the breaking down of their family. When they come to know that the parents will no longer stay with each other, they become sad and are unable to sleep properly. Here are some helpful tips:

* The parent who stays with the children should support them in these bad times. For instance, if your child is being difficult, do not get angry or frustrated. Instead, try to have a chat with him/her and find out what is going on in his/her head. This will help to build your child’s positive feelings. Kids who have not yet started to go to school often hesitate to express their feelings. You should share only essential information with them. Expression of love is very important for kids at this time.
* Children’s peers can also provide additional support to your kids.
* As a parent, you should see that you do not leave your child alone. It is beneficial for your child to be in a childcare center as it helps to understand different types of families.
* You should try to enforce positive discipline amongst your children so that they become good citizens of tomorrow. For example, if your kids are between 6 to 8 years old, then it necessary that you reinforce rules which will help them to develop personal goals.
* If your child performs well in exams or extracurricular activities reward him or her and give positive feedback. When talking to your children, think before you speak and do not use abusive words. “I” messages i.e. commanding language should be avoided, as it will hurt your kid a lot. It is very important that you choose your words carefully.
* You can also play games with your kids along with your ex-spouse. This will help your child understand that his mommy and daddy would love him/her forever, even if they were no longer together.
* Consistency in routines, logical sequences, and a large dose of affection are considered the best tools for surviving divorce for kids. Make sure that your child is not an eyewitness to your anger. You should find safe outlets for your anger. Scolding your child’s father or mother in front of the child can have a negative impact on your kid’s self-esteem. You should not forget that your kid loves his other parent too, therefore if you criticize your ex, your child will definitely feel remorse or discomfort. If you yell or talk abusively to your partner, this will hurt your child. Bad mouthing or screaming at your ex, deeply affects the harmony you share with your kid.

If you really care for your child then you should try to develop a good relationship with your ex. If you cannot be good with your ex then at least be civil. You should never discuss about your ex with your child. The above tips will surely help you in surviving divorce for kids.